Music: 311 - Solar Flare - Don't Tread On Me
Mood: Inspired
I'm comfortable. I may not always be ecstatic with where I am or with how things are, but I feel like I'm mature enough to feel sensible emotions about everything that transpires. Rather than trapse the spectrum for oblique and extreme feelings that really are too dramatic for my own good, I want to make this as clear as possible.
I am no longer let down by my insecurities. I do not worry about things that just won't come to fruition. I spend more of my time involved with projects and tasks that actually will impact my future directly. I refuse to waste any more time believing that there are things in this world that I cannot achieve, so long as I am willing to dedicate myself entirely to the project at hand.
Happiness is just a state of mind. Lately, I have found myself feeling really exuberant. This is primarily because I can finally see a path ahead that will lead to a future that I am comfortable with, and that I am ready to approach. I do not want to be considered inferior or unworthy of accolades, because I believe that I will succeed.
Although I must admit that there have been days when I just have not had the drive in me to persevere. These are usually what I consider 'relapses', where I let my mind wander into the past, and I spend my time harping on things that once were, people, places, memories, bittersweet or friendly. Doing this, however, is trite and inefficent. Feelings are malleable, and I am determined to make my days into satisfactory exercises in restraint and joy.
Doing what you want is important, so long as it does not directly interfere with the people around you. For a long time, I battled this notion with as much vigor as a flight attendant on two cups of black coffee. No more. I do not attempt to bend the rules, or fight the plan. I am willing, and have made, many great sacrifices that I know will be utimatley for the best.
Though I may wonder aloud what I could have if I hadn't made mistakes, I am resolved to what I have with my life, today. Everything that I have done, the good and the bad, has brought me to this very point, where I sit typing these sentences. With as much as I have experienced, I feel as though I am wise beyond my 20 years. This may not be blatantly visible, but I feel it in my core.
I absolutley believe that I have evolved in the past year by leaps and bounds. I am no longer the bitter, resentful person that I was. Instead, I am comfortable with everyone and everything. You couldn't possibly understand how good it feels to, finally, get it. That blurry feeling I've been chasing since as far back as I can remember, is within reach. But still, there's more room to grow.
Time has come for me to make another choice. The decision to continue living in the shadows of my past, or bursting out and carving a new path, free and clear of emotional restraints. I wonder what I will be writing a year from now on this blog. Perhaps something about a unique case I am reading, or, a conversation with one of my peers. Perhaps something greater than that?
But you know, the world at large is full of infinite opportunities. And it seems like I am, finally, prepared for the journey ahead.
Mood: Inspired
I'm comfortable. I may not always be ecstatic with where I am or with how things are, but I feel like I'm mature enough to feel sensible emotions about everything that transpires. Rather than trapse the spectrum for oblique and extreme feelings that really are too dramatic for my own good, I want to make this as clear as possible.
I am no longer let down by my insecurities. I do not worry about things that just won't come to fruition. I spend more of my time involved with projects and tasks that actually will impact my future directly. I refuse to waste any more time believing that there are things in this world that I cannot achieve, so long as I am willing to dedicate myself entirely to the project at hand.
Happiness is just a state of mind. Lately, I have found myself feeling really exuberant. This is primarily because I can finally see a path ahead that will lead to a future that I am comfortable with, and that I am ready to approach. I do not want to be considered inferior or unworthy of accolades, because I believe that I will succeed.
Although I must admit that there have been days when I just have not had the drive in me to persevere. These are usually what I consider 'relapses', where I let my mind wander into the past, and I spend my time harping on things that once were, people, places, memories, bittersweet or friendly. Doing this, however, is trite and inefficent. Feelings are malleable, and I am determined to make my days into satisfactory exercises in restraint and joy.
Doing what you want is important, so long as it does not directly interfere with the people around you. For a long time, I battled this notion with as much vigor as a flight attendant on two cups of black coffee. No more. I do not attempt to bend the rules, or fight the plan. I am willing, and have made, many great sacrifices that I know will be utimatley for the best.
Though I may wonder aloud what I could have if I hadn't made mistakes, I am resolved to what I have with my life, today. Everything that I have done, the good and the bad, has brought me to this very point, where I sit typing these sentences. With as much as I have experienced, I feel as though I am wise beyond my 20 years. This may not be blatantly visible, but I feel it in my core.
I absolutley believe that I have evolved in the past year by leaps and bounds. I am no longer the bitter, resentful person that I was. Instead, I am comfortable with everyone and everything. You couldn't possibly understand how good it feels to, finally, get it. That blurry feeling I've been chasing since as far back as I can remember, is within reach. But still, there's more room to grow.
Time has come for me to make another choice. The decision to continue living in the shadows of my past, or bursting out and carving a new path, free and clear of emotional restraints. I wonder what I will be writing a year from now on this blog. Perhaps something about a unique case I am reading, or, a conversation with one of my peers. Perhaps something greater than that?
But you know, the world at large is full of infinite opportunities. And it seems like I am, finally, prepared for the journey ahead.
nice. college essay or just reflecting?
don't answer that. if its for college then i'm feeling very inadequate right about now..
hah, no just reflections. fear not, you're writing is far beyond me.