Starting from Scratch

If you sneeze twice in succession around my parents, you'll be interrogated and ultimately diagnosed with either SARS or some strain of the African Flu. 

There is an increasingly disturbing amount of underage cleavage roaming the streets of Calabasas. Be warned. 

Fanboys should under no circumstance be allowed to vote on IMDB and fuck with the gentle equilibrium that once was Shawshank Redemption and The Godfather.

For the record, Shawshank might be the most overrated movie in the history of movie-dom. There was nothing monumental or spectacular about it- everything was average at best. But people are so afraid to go against the grain and say anything negative about. 

I sort of wish John Mayer would shut the fuck up.

Los Angeles needs a subway. I'm frustrated with driving. Even if the commute time is equivalent, I'd much prefer standing next to sweaty people in a tram-car then enjoy the air-conditioned bliss of my vehicle. Fuck.

CNN needs to step their journalism game up. They're slacking.

I literally just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. 

Team USA is going to destroy the competition in Beijing this year. Book it. 

Brunettes with long legs make me yearn for afternoons in Boston once more. 

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford Comma?